Final Chapter

Catch up:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. ”

Arriving on the 4th tee we noticed a delay ahead and had to wait a few minutes before we got to tee off. This was a common trend for the rest of the day, the round took just shy of six hours. Not that I was complaining as I would have stayed out there all day but with the average round lasting roughly four hours you could see why others would get annoyed.

The delay on the tee was a great opportunity to talk to Michael and his caddy Gerry. We got chatting about basic golf stuff, his past victories etc But I was keen to hear funny stories he'd had in previous pro am's

  He started telling us about the Russian Open, he was waiting on the first tee when a giant of a man arrived beside him. The plastic wrappers still on all his clubs, basically he'd never ever played before, Michael said he was your stereotypical Russian, reminding him of Ivan Drago from Rocky 4

He was so bad that word spread throughout the course and other players and officials stopped what they were doing to come over and watch him.

I know, not the funniest story ever, but it lead to Gerry telling us a humdinger. He wasn't caddying for Michael in Russia that week, he was on Lee Slattery's bag, who would go on to win the event. 

Part of the presentation party that week was Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. After in the clubhouse Roman and his security came up to congratulate Lee again and say his goodbyes, when Gerry built up the courage to say to Roman

"I hope you enjoyed lifting that trophy, because its the only one you'll be lifting all year..."

Lead balloon.

We all teed off and wandered down the fairway. The fourth is a longish Par 5 big trees guarding the right side of the green. Michael hit a good drive but it bounced over to the right side of the fairway. He had roughly 300 yards to the green, but was on a bit of a downhill lie and the trees that were guarding the green blocked a direct route to the green. Basically he'd no shot.

I turned to Ken and said he'll have to lay this up, but then he pulled out the fairway wood, composed himself and hit what can only be described as a magical golf shot.

It rose over the trees and landed about twenty feet from the hole, eagle putt. Which he calmly rolled it. Pure class.

Writing the blog for the last year or so I've been keeping an extra eye on golf coverage and I've mentioned in other posts how much it annoyed me hearing the stupid questions presenters would asked Golfers post round, so I was I really mindful of what I asked Michael walking around. 

We both hit good tee shots into the par 3 14th and walked towards the green together when I seized the opportunity to ask another "brilliant" question.

"Micheal does it not bother you some of the stupid questions you get asked by the reporters, like how you felt over a putt etc"

"To be honest Rob, we love getting asked those questions because it means were in contention, if were not getting asked were doing no good"

What a great question Rob, stick to the day job.

Before we knew it we're walking down 18, the famous Par 5, it's all nearly over. Poor Kenny's shoulder is hanging off him and we can smell the food so only one or two more shots hopefully.

Our best drive was a good one but no way we could get the green in two so we all hit nice lay up shots.

Ken informed me I'd 86 yards to the flag.

One more "Keep it on the left side Rob"

Two practise swings and bang. The ball came off the club face so sweet, pitched about ten feet short of the hole, big bounce past the flag and spun back and sat on the lip of the hole. No one could understand how it didn't go in.

But I didn't care, I got the cheers and claps from the little crowd that was there and and there was no way I could miss that putt on the left, that was for sure. 

Handshakes and thank yous and we ran for the showers. The dinner was nice, sitting on a table next to the lies of Dermot Desmond and JP Mc Manus, Rory didn't bother to hang around, its not like it was in aid of his Foundation or anything.

When I did manage to look up from my plate the one thing that caught my eye the most was my old buddy Niall Horan sitting on his own with his bodyguard, a big table, probably sit about twelve but he was just sitting there. He looked lost, made me happy I turned down all those offers from Louis Walsh years back. 

It was getting late now about half eight and the car was due to pick us up about half nine. So in our wisdom we thought it would be best to head down to were we were dropped off because if they didn't let the car up the main drive earlier they hardly would tonight.

After a long slog we ended up at the entrance of The Smurfit Course and waited....

And waited....

And waited...

Few text messages later we started to panic. I'd five percent battery and Kenny had seven. I ended up googling the company and got through to a number... 

BATTERY DIED.

"Rob what are we going to do"

So we gave it another go on Kenny's phone, they said they get the driver to call back straight away.

4% left.
3% Left

Ring Ring... "Mr Lawless, I'm outside the clubhouse waiting on you."

2% left. 

"Really sorry, but we made an assumption that's backfired and we are actually standing outside the gates of the other course"

"Oh I'm not familiar with the other course where abouts is it"

1%  (Kenny's face)

I never spoke as quick and gave directions.

"Rob, what are we going to. You may write that number down and if my phone goes we may go look for a house and knock on the door"

The next ten minutes felt like an hour but eventually the car got us and we homeward bound. 

I arrived home, never as tired in my life, only to walk into the bedroom to find Kim....

Asleep on the "left side" of the bed.

Part Three

In case you missed the first couple:
Part One
Part Two                                                               


I woke up the other morning just before five a.m to use the little boys room, when returning to bed I had a peak out the window to see what the day was going to bring. When I pulled the curtains I noticed someone heading off to work, later that day I was relaying the story to my mum and she replied with:

"Sure you use to get up at that time to play Golf!"

And she was right. Back in 1993 when I got bitten by the golf bug it wasn't as easy as it is now to play so I used to get up before the sun so I could sneak out and play nine holes around Greystones Golf Club before the green keepers arrived.

From there my love of the game grew and when in school I would day dream about winning big tournaments, travelling the world playing golf and all the luxuries that came with being a Professional Golfer. I even practised my autograph, just in case.

Fast forward twenty odd years and while walking from the driving range all that practise started to pay off. At first I was like, "no no I'm not a pro" but towards the end of it I was just walking around with a sharpie signing anything that got in my way.


Sure when will I get the chance again I suppose. I didn't care the only reason the kids were asking me was because BMW were making an outrageous fuss out of me and I was being followed by my own actual entourage. So I lapped it up.

This happened to be the exact time my Mom, Sister, Niece and better half arrived on site. I can only imagine their reactions when they seen me surrounded by camera's, signing autographs.




Not long until we got to meet our Pro, Michael Hoey.  Standing on the famous 1st tee where Darren Clarke got that incredible welcome during the Ryder Cup in 2006 surrounded by grandstands that butterfly in my stomach started to flutter again. The fairway getting smaller and smaller

Then our Professional started walking towards us.

Straight away you could tell he was a nice bloke, strong handshake, eye contact and a genuine warmth. The butterfly started to relax.

We got the small talk out of the way and stood aside to watch Michael rip one down the left side of the fairway. Couldn't have placed it in a better position. I had tried to use the new Facebook Live function to show mine and Michael's tee shots but as you'll see the butterfly obviously wasn't that relaxed with all the shaking that went on ( Michael's Opening Shot )

Now my turn.... Kenny handed me my three wood " Keep it on your left side Rob"
As I reached for a tee out of my pocket the butterfly in my stomach suddenly invited all his friends over. I was rattling, I could barely get the tee into the ground.

And its funny, but just as I got the ball onto the tee, A thought  came over me how wouldn't my Dad have loved to have seen me hit this shot. I really had to compose myself. My eyes weld up, but a couple of deep breaths later I kept it on my left side and piped one down the middle.

 

Job done, and I reckon Dad was watching anyway. 

I think I actually fist pumped with Kenny, definitely a first time doing that for a tee shot. Walking off the tee, the weight lifted off my shoulders and a smile appeared on my face. I honestly don't think it left until I fell asleep that night.

Strollimg side by side with Michael the thirteen year old inside me whispered "enjoy this, its not exactly what we dreamt of but its a very close second"



Hearing Michael say "Nice swing there Rob" made the walk to my ball all that bit nicer too. I swiftly picked my ball up and put it in my pocket.


Why, you ask,  Well it was a strange format we were playing that day, a Tour Scramble.

• All four players drove
• The pro selected the best drive ( he played his own ball )
• Myself, Fiachra and Fergal would play out the hole individually from the ball he selected
• And the worst score we could have on the hole was a par.

I think its a format designed to help high handicap players and speed up play (even though it took us just shy of six hours) 

Michael's ball was best placed out of the four of us so we marked and got ready to hit after him. 

Fergal and Fiachra, my playing partners, were both handy golfers, each off six handicap. So when Michael turned to us and said "Guys, this is probably the lowest handicap group I've played with in a Pro-Am" I thought we would 100% be making speeches at the presentation, but before I could get carried away he also said

"Just so you know you haven't a hope of winning this"  with a cheeky grin.

The format totally suited the high handicap, we would go on to make a lot of birdies, Michael even an eagle but because your score couldn't go backwards we were always chasing our tails.

After Michael hit, the lads said "Fire away Rob" . So I placed the ball, went through my routine and was just about to pull the trigger when Kenny said " Keep it on your left side Rob", as he would do for nearly every shot for the rest of the day. I think I was lob sided going home.

But thankfully he did, I hit a career best iron shot to about five feet, Which drew a big cheer from the gallery. The gallery made up as mentioned of family, but also a good contingent of Glen of the Downs members.

 I can't even remember where the lads hit there shots too as I floated up the fairway. Marked my ball, threw it to Kenny, cause that's what the Pros's do. It wasn't even dirty. 

Funny this, but I replaced the ball, took some practise strokes and yes you guessed it, missed it on the left side. 

To be continued....

Part Two

(Just in case you missed Part One)

*WARNING Straight down the middle can not be held responsible for injury caused by reading the following. Beware names will drop.

So where was I?

Oh yea, lights, camera, Action !

After getting introduced to the other Am's in my Pro Am group, (two really nice fellas, Fiachra and another so nice I can't remember his name!) Paul from vocal explained to us why we'd been miked up and what the camera's would be doing.

"Okay guys, the plan today is BMW want to document how your experience goes. As you are aware you've been miked up and will be live for the next six hours. Don't worry we'll try not keep the cameras in your face but it'll be worth it in a few weeks when we will have a nice little ninety second film for each of you"

Six hours recording for ninety seconds, That's a lot of editing and bleeping out if I didn't play well.

So from sitting in the stands like an ordinary "patron" fifteen minutes earlier I suddenly find myself with two cameras on me being asked to explain what it meant for me to be there today and why I was Ireland's most driven golfer. Cue all the cliche's:

"Well golf is my life, Just so happy to be here today, I've always dreamed about holing the winning putt in The Irish Open, maybe today I'll get the chance to hole the winning putt in the Pro Am"

I just couldn't stop talking,,,,, But I suppose ask me anything about golf and that's normally the reaction.

I've been very lucky during the front nine of my life (35 years young) to have been in some pretty surreal situations that make you stop and look around and go WOW

• Having a dance off with Bruno Mars in a nightclub in Hollywood, this nightclub had a swimming pool in it!
• Giving golf lessons to Irish Internationals at 5am at a house party 
• My son's birth being announced on prime time television in America Luca
• Getting the eye off Courtney Cox

To name a few. Funny situations, all good fun. But when Shane Lowry walked by where we were getting interviewed and gave me the "who's your man" look, the butterflies in my stomach woke up!

So after all the basic interviews were done it was roughly 1110, three hours to kick off! Paul gave us the all clear to wander around and do whatever we wanted and we were to meet back up on the range at 1300.

The range... I've mentioned in previous blogs that this is where I spend most of my time if I go to a tournament, watching all the Professionals go through their routines and warm ups.

This was when I started to feel like I was at The Oscars. We flashed our credentials and walked the red carpet, no it wasn't lined with movie stars but in my world they were as good as. 

A who's who of European Tour stars. I felt like a kid in a sweet shop. I didn't know what or who to look at, the sound, that strike of a golf ball gave me goosebumps, All the reasons I started playing and why I loved this game so much basically my teenage years flashing through my mind.

And then we spotted him. The Masters Champion, unfortunately he wasn't wearing his Green Jacket, but we were able to stand no more than three yards from him and watch him do his thing. Myself and Kenny were both baffled at what he was doing, we both would think we had our fingers on the pulse when it came to modern equipment and practise drills but this was all new to us.


After watching him for about twenty minutes only one word can describe him "Focused" He was so into what he was doing. Nothing around him phased him, no small talk, just work. I know its something that gets lobbied around when someone wins their first major, but Danny Willett will definitely win more majors.

We walked up and down the line, both with sore sides from the elbow nudges that followed.

"Kenny, look look look"

"Rob, my god did you see that"

We would both consider ourselves good to decent players but watching these guys hit the ball could either do two things, totally destroy our confidence or motivate us. Hopefully the later was the effect we both felt.

Then out of nowhere this strange feeling came over the range, Heads turned, people whispered, pointed... There he was, well so we thought. I'd never seen a golf bag get so much attention. Rory's caddy JP had arrived on the range and placed his bag down. People started to hover. Waiting patiently. Five, Ten, fifteen minutes passed still no sign of him

Then all of a sudden, THIS ROAR erupted, it was like Ireland had scored a winner in the last minute, We looked around still no sign of Rory. But then the roar turned into a chant:

NIALL
NIALL
NIALL
NIALL
NIALL

Your man from X Factor, Niall Horan. Biggest reaction of the day. Now my niece is a huge fan of 1D so all I could think of when I seen him was getting a photo of him to make her jealous, who could ask for a better uncle! I had one simple job to do:

"Hi Niall, my niece is a big fan, any chance of a photo"  Sounds easy right. I've never seen a guy been hassled so much and I was that close to leaving it....

Thank god my eyes weren't closed. Sent Alanna photo with following text "Just Saying"

After all the fan's calmed down, the main event arrived on the range, Rory. Myself and Kenny got ourselves into prime position. And just watched. Not much was said, the best golfer on the planet two yards from us. He slowly went through his bag, few wedges, nine irons, six irons, four irons, three wood, then BOOM

I have never seen anything like. I've seen Tiger in his prime hit a driver, but what Rory did right in front of us that day was borderline ridiculous.

Picture the scene. He's directly in line with a forty foot tree, the tree is about two hundred and fifty yards away, a good drive for most. His ball was rising as it went over the tree. We thought the first one was a fluke, then he did it again and again and again. The strike, the power were impressive, but the trajectRORY was actually scary.
Rory on Range

Before we knew it was 1245, time to get the boots on. Back into the real locker room. Kenny grabbed the bag and we headed to hit balls beside the big boys. Walking across the range the camera's spotted us.

"Now just do your normal thing Rob, pretend we're not here"

So I started a few stretches, body movements, getting the blood flowing you know. Was just about to hit my first shot. Tap on the shoulder.

"Rob that was brilliant, any chance you could do it again, we'd like to get it from a different angle"

Kenny, where's my agent !

The few days previous I had been hitting the ball so bad, I mean real bad. Actually losing sleep over it. I kept having this vision of my shot off the first tee and having to shout...

"FORE LEFT"

So I slowly started to hit a few shots, felt ok, then that quick hook, Snap. Snap.

"Rob, just get your weight onto your left side and hold it there"

Thirteen is normally an unlucky number but these thirteen words Kenny said to me, made my day. I started it hitting it good, nearly great again. Went through the bag like Rory did and was nearly finished when Kenny gave me a wedge.

"Lets do a little warm down Rob, keep it on your left side"

"Hit slow swings at the 100 yard marker"

Bang
Bang
Bang

Three in a row straight off the sign.

"Right Ken lets go to work"

To be continued.....

Part one

Its funny how certain phone calls can affect you in different ways. Two I'll mention are both about the same place, The K Club. One of Ireland's top resorts, a place I've had the pleasure of being too on numerous occasions.

The first phone call came way back in 1997, I'd just spent three days inside the ropes  caddying for Irish Professional Brendan McGovern in The European Open, a pretty big deal for a fresh faced 17 year old who thought he knew it all about golf.

I was quickly brought back to earth when Retief Goosen's caddy gave me an crash course on how "you rake a bunker on tour"

Brendan was playing as I mentioned with Retief and a Dutch player called Rolf Muntz, One would go on to win Majors and millions of Dollars, one not so much.

The first round from what I can remember Brendan shot a really classy 71 and eclipsed the two superstars and I think he was leading Irishman in the field, so I must have been doing a half decent job carrying the bag and cleaning his balls !

Second day was a bit of a disaster and as caddies say We missed the cut by a couple of shots. I headed back home to Greystones looking forward to the weekend in Lautrex (local nightclub) with a few pound in my pocket.

Late that night the phone rang in my family home.

I answered:

"Mr Lawless do you accept the charges of a call from a Mr Brendan Mc Govern from The K Club"

I'd only ever seen this in Movies. But obviously accepted the charges, Brendan asked me did I fancy coming back down at 0600 hours the next morning, he'd got a chance to play again as a marker.

The thoughts of getting a train and two buses back down didn't really appeal to me so I kindly declined the offer and haven't spoken to Brendan since.

I still tell people that story today, nearly twenty years later,

Second phone call I got about The K Club had the polar opposite effect on me. It was a busy Tuesday afternoon in work, when my mobile rang. And it was one of those calls will I wont I answer numbers you don't recognize, but thank god I did,

"Hi Rob, Its Kieran from Vocal here, I'm ringing on behalf of BMW"

The Penny dropped... A few weeks previous I had seen a viral video on line, Paul Mc Ginley asking "Are you Ireland's most driven golfer?"

Immediately I thought YES I AM PAUL. First time I tried to enter my brain wouldn't work and out of the 500 words you needed to write I could only muster up maybe ten, second time I actually got some good content together but their platform wouldn't work and it wouldn't allow me upload the photo or video.

I tried again a few days later, Third time lucky, it all worked nicely and I sent it off, quietly confident but never really expecting the call.

"Rob you entered a competition on line a few weeks ago and the committee had a look at the selected finalist last night and I'm glad to say you are one of the three winners"

I actually nearly fainted.

"Hello Rob..."

"Rob, we are wondering are you free next Wednesday to play in the Irish Open Pro Am as a guest of BMW"

Kieran, it would be my pleasure.

The rush I got was incredible, it was the most bizarre feeling. I just wanted to tell everybody. I remember running around the golf club just shouting out at anyone that would listen "I'm playing in the pro am" over and over again,

After I'd made phone calls to family and friends I posted it on Facebook, thinking my golfing buddies will appreciate this. It blew up. My phone never stopped beeping for days after. I even had  a few media sources wanting to do interviews with me.

When I got home that night I got roped into doing one for The Greystones Guide, thinking it was just going to be a quick picture and a few small questions, Even if you watch the clip you can see me looking quite puzzled as I think he's taking a picture when the sneaky devil is recording. Seven minutes later he finally pressed stop. 

Greystones Guide Interview

Turned out well and the response was so amazing. Incredible the support I got. Deep down I knew it was only the Pro Am and not the actual event, I don't think everyone else did though! 

So I had nine days to the event and six days before I found out who I'd be playing with. Day dreams of Rory and Padraig raced around my head, How was I was suppose to sleep! 

Monday morning came in a flash, I'd been up since the crack of dawn most mornings trying to get a half decent swing for that first tee shot on the Wednesday. 

I got back into the shop and there it was, the golden ticket. A registered letter from BMW with all my details.

I wont lie, I was a little deflated when I heard I was playing with Michael Hoey, I just knew he wasn't a box office name, and people would think "Who" when they heard it. I quickly snapped out of that when I remembered what an incredible career this guy is having and it was a honour I was allowed walk around a golf course with him. 

He'd won the British Amateur, Five events on tour, beaten Rory down the stretch at St Andrews. And most of all, I'd heard he was a great guy. This was going to be fun.

It was quite Ironic I won a competition run by BMW considering I don't drive. And as it turned out my good friend Kenny who kindly said he'd come keep me company and caddy for me on the day doesn't drive either, Step in my saviour Brian Downes of Joe Duffy BMW who provided us with a driver and car for the day!

So the day finally arrived ( thank god says you if you've even read this far ), the clubs have never been as clean, new trousers, new top kindly sponsored by work, tour bag packed to the brim with fruit, drinks, tees, golf balls. Poor Kenny nearly dislocated his shoulder when he first lifted it.

So our pick up was 0930, for a 1410 tee, you can tell we were eager to get down to the venue to have a nose around. Gerry our driver was a gent and tried to drop us right to the door but we were greeted by security on the main gate who sent us miles off course and I had to lump the bag about three kilometres, I could feel Kenny's pain, the bag weighed a tonne. He'd just lost his tip though not offering to carrying it.

Finally a buggy spotted us and we were on our way to the clubhouse, we picked up one straggler on the way. As soon as he got in beside me I knew I recognized him. Eventually I realized it was non other than Michael Bannon, Rory Mcilroys coach.

"How's he hitting it" I said without even flinching. I just wanted to fit in you know! 

"Hitting it great, just needs to hole a few putts" And we all know how that worked out.

We got to the registration about 1030,  done the necessary, then headed to the locker rooms..... We'd got dodgy directions! I was looking around going, yep I know him, him, him.. Kenny turns to me and says Rob I don't think this is right, but hey when in Rome, I turn to the attendant and ask for a locker key.

"Of course Sir, your name" 

"Lawless" "Rob, Lawless"

Panic ensues as I'm not on the list and he apologizes but eventually gets me a key. But after lacing our shoes up and the getting the strangest looks from numerous Tour Professional stars we realized maybe we weren't meant to be in their locker room. So red faced we quietly left and found the locker room reserved for Pro Am Participants. It was nice to see how the other half lived all the same.

We then availed of the free breakfast on offer. Trying to get the breakfast to sink in with everything else going on wasn't easy. We ate fast because we really wanted to take advantage of our access all areas passes 

We left the dinning area and the first people we bumped into where two other Greystones Legends, Karl Holmes and Paul Dunne. Paul really looked the part, Karl not so much. Great just shooting the breeze for a minute with them, Karl giving out because we didn't give him a lift from the gate. If only he knew.

We noticed right beside us was the first tee, and a nice little seating area. We sat for a while and watched Matthew Fitzpatrick and GMac stripe one down the middle. Something I was hoping to do a few hours later. 

My phone then started to vibrate.

"Hi Rob, Its Shauna from BMW. Just wondering are you guys here"

"Okay brilliant could you come offer to the registration area and meet all the crew"

This is when all the fun really began. So not only was it Shauna, there was also about eight other people. Two camera men, a Director, a Producer, a guy in charge of ligthtng/sound etc Before I knew it I was miked up and standing in front of the cameras....

To be continued...